Excerpts from Chapter 9

Concerning Sex

Straight to the Heart of What Keeps Us Apart

Sex Commands Attention

I don’t remember much about my neighborhood Dairy Queen . . . except for THE SIGN. It hung provocatively above the counter, arresting the attention of every teenage boy in search of a Blizzard. Some signs direct, others warn, still others prohibit certain actions, but the headline on this sign was a tractor beam for our attention. It read, “CONCERNING SEX.” Even gliding past it could melt the ice cream of any adolescent lad.

But the headline was just an attention-getter. The sign wasn’t about sex at all. The small print was nothing but an etiquette list for customers. Clever. Yet somehow, every time I came in, I still thought that sign might unlock some secret “CONCERNING SEX.” Maybe they’ve added new information. So I would read it again. Now that I think about it, I don’t know if I’d want to learn about sex in a place where everything they sell is frozen. But the point couldn’t be more clear: Sex commands attention.

Addressing the topic of sex in marriage can be tricky. Yet the strengths and weaknesses of a marriage are often more obvious in the bedroom than anywhere else. Here’s a phrase you may remember from chapter two, “When sin becomes bitter, marriage becomes sweet.” The quality of sex can be a fragile thing. Its sweetness is easily soured by the working of sin in our lives. But grace breathes life and faith into every vulnerable area of our marriages—even sex.

But no need to worry about diagrams or graphic descriptions. I intend to be careful, pastoral, and practical. I want to help you apply God’s Word to this very area. And I want to hold out hope. Even if this is an area of frustration, contention, or despair, God wants to ignite fresh sparks of faith in your marriage for a mutually enjoyable sexual experience. God created sex to be satisfying within marriage. The whole thing was his idea

When I was a kid at the Dairy Queen, sex commanded attention for all the wrong reasons. But in the Bible, sex in marriage commands attention for the right reasons. As a magnificent gift bestowed by our Creator, sex is given to be celebrated. But the impact of this remarkable gift does not stop with us. Marriages that are sexually satisfying in private carry into the public sphere a certain sparkle, an open demonstration of joy and unity that helps point people to the Creator of marriage. When God says, “concerning sex” it really is worth looking at the fine print.

Read an excerpt from Chapter 10

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